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A Marriage Made in Heaven

Rev. Jeremy J. Schultz
August 23, 2009

On July 29, 1981, one of the most highly publicized and glamorous weddings in history took place. Britain's Prince Charles married Lady Diana in a ceremony that was watched by an estimated audience of 750 million people worldwide. 4500 pots of fresh flowers lined the route to St. Paul's cathedral. 2500 people crowded that grand church. For many people, this was a modern fairy tale. A royal prince weds a lovely lady in a grand cathedral surrounded by adoring subjects. Prince Charles and Lady Diana were the envy of millions. They were rich, young and beautiful. It was a "marriage made in heaven." But sadly, we know that the fairy tale became a nightmare. The couple grew more and more distant. Affairs ensued. And the storybook marriage made in heaven eventually collapsed into adultery and divorce. It takes more than a prince, a lady, and a palace to make a happy marriage. It takes Christ and His faithfulness.

In Ephesians 5, St. Paul describes a real marriage made in heaven. He begins by discussing the roles that men and women are suppose to occupy within the marriage, but then we discover that what he's really talking about is Christ and the Church. He says that Christ Jesus is like the bridegroom in this relationship and the church is like His bride. Marriage, therefore, may be more mysterious than you imagine! Because marriage, especially Christian marriage, offers the world a glimpse of the love and respect that govern the union of Christ and His bride, the church. – that's you and me. More simply put, marriage is a picture of Christ's love and faithfulness by which He has wed us to Himself. That's the real marriage made in heaven! Therefore, God's Word is going to have a whole lot to say about our marriages.

But before we get into any of that, let me begin by saying this. The Bible does not indicate in any way, shape or form that women are inferior to men! Neither does it say that women are suppose to bury their brains or to be a doormat in marriage. Men with a superiority slant did not write the Bible and the real St. Paul who wrote this letter to the Ephesians is no woman hater! That could not be farther from the truth. Actually it was the ancient Jews that used to pray, "God, thank you that I'm not a Gentile, that I'm not a dog, and that I'm not a woman." It was the Romans who believed that a woman was just one step above a slave and many steps below a man. But the Biblical, Christian view of women is summed up in Galatians 3:28. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." This is talking about men and women and people of every nationality or station in life having the same standing with each other as persons before Christ. And that's true! Women are every bit on the same level as the man with respect to salvation. But this Bible passage today is talking about something else. Ephesians 5 is talking about the different roles that men and women are to occupy within marriage. So here it is. "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

So the question is, what does it mean to submit? Especially in light of the preceding verse’s direction that all Christians should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ! There, all Christians are told to take on the mind of Christ and in humility to make their personal mission less for the sake of any other. But here within marriage, wives are specifically called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. And this means to place oneself under the authority or protection of another. Wives are called in the Bible to submit to their husbands – not other men – but to their own husbands, as to the Lord. To place themselves under his protection and guidance and in so doing fall under the care and protection of the Lord.

Now some husbands make this easy and some unfortunately have by their actions turned this into a four-letter word. Take Homer Simpson, now there's a catch! He's the ultimate buffoon who doesn't get off the couch except to get another beer or open another bag of potato chips. He's completely disengaged from the family. And you might rightly think, "Marge is suppose to place herself under HIS authority and protection?" If you think about who's out there in the media to follow – it doesn’t get much better than that. Gone are the days of Ward Cleaver, Mike Brady and even Cliff Huxtable.

But here's the secret truth – wives want their husbands to lead. They're desperately longing for their husbands to be engaged with them and the children. I talk to so many women who make it clear that they have to lead by default. They're the ones getting everyone ready for church and maybe even taking them all alone. They're the ones making all the important decisions for the family. And deep down – they wish it were different.

Now the wife may be the more capable leader. She may have more on the ball (at least that's what my wife told me to say) but the Bible's admonition is the same. Submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 1 Peter 3:1 tells us why: "So that if any of them do not believe the Word of God, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." In other words, your manner of respecting him and his authority in the home may be the only way he gets saved.

Now men, you have the more difficult, higher charge. You are called to love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This was the selfless act of Christ who came not to do His own will, but the will of the Father. Jesus loved the church – that is to say – He loves you so much that He willingly laid down His life and died for you and this is how the husband is supposed to love his wife. But there's even more, "to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives." Husbands who love like this do not demand respect in the house, they earn it by their selfless sacrificial manner of giving themselves up time and time and time again.

Husbands, do you want to know what the secret to your wife's heart is? Become connected to her. Spend time with her listening and talking. What she wants more than anything is to connect with you. That's how you show her your love. You cherish her. You cherish spending time with her and knowing her. Wives, do you know what the key to your husbands heart is? It's respect. Respect him. Write him a note and tell him that you know how hard he works and that he doesn't have to do it. Tell him how much you appreciate him above all other men and what he sacrifices for you and for the children. Tell him all of the reasons you respect him and then sit back and watch what happens.

The roles laid out in Scripture for husbands and wives in marriage are not meant to burden and imprison, but to enliven and set free. Remember the union of husbands and wives on earth is a picture of the true marriage that's made in heaven.

The story is told from ages past about a stately prince and a peasant girl who fall in love. This really is a difficult one to understand. Because on the one hand is a prince who literally had the world at His disposal. There has never been a more perfect specimen of a man that ever lived. Nothing about Him was common. You wouldn't be exaggerating to say that He is a perfect catch. On the other hand there is a peasant girl. She is nothing more than average. At her best she is plain, but at her worst she can be just plain ugly. There are times when she is cranky and moody, and she rarely ever achieves all she could. To look at her from anyone else's eyes you would never believe she was worth much. But if you could see her through the eyes of the prince, you would believe that she is "to die for."

This is a profound mystery, says St. Paul. But I am talking about Christ and the church. You see, Jesus Christ is the most perfect prince who had the world at His disposal. He is the one without out compare – the truly perfect catch that we did not deserve. And we are the, at best, plain and ordinary bride. At worst, we're His disobedient and adulterous bride. For every sin we've ever committed has made us unworthy of his affection. But He loves us still. He loves you still! You are the one that He cherishes. You are His bride. And, Oh, what a wedding has taken place. He laid down His life to win your hand. He cleansed you from every stain and blemish and takes you as His own. It's truly a marriage made in heaven – one that you'll enjoy forever. Amen!